E19 Making Play Work (Part 4): Independent Play for Real Families - Less Guilt, More Understanding

Independent play is one of those topics that can make parents feel like they’re either winning or failing… but the truth is far more human than that. In this episode of Not Just Theories, we look at independent play through the lens most parenting advice misses: temperament.

Some children seem wired from birth to explore, tinker, or entertain themselves. Others want proximity, co-regulation, or shared attention long before they can comfortably play alone - and that’s not a parenting flaw. It’s neurobiology.

We unpack what temperament has to do with independence, how much influence parents actually have (spoiler: less than the internet suggests), and why comparing your child to someone else’s is basically comparing apples to entire planets.

You’ll also hear realistic strategies for supporting independent play without pushing it: invitations to play, connection-before-separation, reframing demands to reduce resistance, and gently increasing your child’s tolerance for short separations.

This episode is ultimately about releasing guilt, honouring individual differences, and supporting your child in a developmentally respectful way.